“If a guy can’t meet your needs it means that he’s the wrong person for you!” Matthew Hussey
Conversation in the metro : the story behind the article
He (a 50 years old guy) : …and how’s your lovelife ?
She (a 30 years old woman) : Well, nothing new, I’m single, but I hope to meet him soon, somewhere.
He : Don’t wait too much, life is short !
I’m gonna be honest from the start.
I don’t pretend to know everything and, even though I learned from my own mistakes, I continue learning, evolving, getting to know myself better. In this process I’ve met all kinds of people and I was searching for my Mr Right. I had moments when I waited, moments when I didn’t want to get out of my comfort zone and, finally, moments when I started to create my love life. In all these moments, I sincerely believed that in order to be happy with someone I have to be happy with myself and accept myself as I am, with all that I have.
I’m not selling any magic solutions, I just want to invite you to open your mind and to search what suits you the best. Every journey starts with finding out who we are and then, only then, finding our love partner. I’m convinced that we are meant for a life of happiness, sharing and companionship.
Myths about Mr. Right
- When you’ll meet him, you’ll know !
How can you know? Every relation needs time to discover compatibilities, needs and wants. Give it time, patience and eventually you’ll know, but based on real facts.
- Relationships are all about compromises
No, relationships are about growing together and should be better than single life, should be a balance between giving and taking. Don’t settle for less than you deserve ! This means don’t put up with disrespectful behaviour, don’t let anyone abuse you or not treat you with the love you deserve.
- If we’re meant to be together, we will !
Create your love life today as you do in your work life, don’t wait. People evolve, so who knows what you will be in 20 years for now.
- The passive attitude
Not finding the courage to go out of our confort zone and wait, wait for something to happen. Take risks, go out, go beyond your circle, follow your passions and you will get to know yourself better and know what you want.
- “There aren’t any good men/women/single people out there.”
Of course there are good people everywhere, this kind of thinking will reduce all the possibilities to find a good person.
Who is he ?
- The guy who has self confidence, believes in his vision and does what it takes to succeed.
- The guy who doesn’t need to surround himself with a bunch of women who would validate him, one woman is enough for him.
- The guy who has values and standards and sticks to them.
- The guy who is nice, but knows to impose himself when needed.
- The guy who cares for his friends and family and protects them.
- The guy who recognises his mistakes and says I’m sorry.
- The guy who’s not ambiguous and who treats a woman with respect, kindness and empathy.
- The guy who’s charming, but not too much of a player.
- The guy who’s honest and recognises the beauty in others.
- The guy who continuously learns and develops himself.
- The guy who talks with consideration about his ex girlfriends, because he once loved them : if he chose them, that means they were special.
Where to find him ?
There are no standard places to find him, you can find him in a coffee shop or in an activity group, just keep in mind that beauty goes beyond the eye and that in order for him to be the right man for you, you have to be the right woman for him, (someone who has values, respects herself and others and who isn’t afraid to take the beautiful risk of falling in love).
And then if you meet him, keep creating a life together !
I just loved this article. It is so full of good ideas and “reflection points”.
Thanks for sharing it with us!
Good read I must say! no. 5 is usually my excuse which makes me feel a bit busted right now.
Thanks for the article!
You stressed something very important : to attract someone amazing for us, we need to think ourselves as amazing as well and that we deserve to live a wonderful relationship!
Number 5 is a very limiting belief. Why not turning this into something more positive such as ” if a wonderful person like me is single, there must be many wonderful single people out there as well” 🙂
Thank you, girls, for your comments. The 4 and 5 myths are very dangerous and keep us from creating the love life we deserve, I’ve been there, too.