“Motivation gets you started. Habit keeps you going.” Jim Rohn
“Tomorrow, I quit smoking/chocolate/biting my nails”
“Tomorrow, I get back in shape/start flossing my teeth/cook all my meal”
At some point in our life, we all took a big decision to quit a “bad” habit or to start a “good” one. We sometimes failed in succeeding in it. It is interesting to notice that those decisions come in particular period of time such as the beginning of a new year, a birthday or after an emotional event. For many of us, after some days or weeks, the motivation vanes and we slowly get back to our old unwanted ways.
Why do people fail in changing habits?
Anna, 15-pound overweight, smokes 20 cigarettes a day. She has a desk job and often takes cigarette breaks with her colleagues in the smokers’ area of the building. She has never exercised outside of high school and she hated it. One day she decided to change her life and quit smoking, sign up in a gym with the plan to exercise every day. Of course, she will not share her project to anybody because she has tried so many times and has always failed in changing.
By approaching change this way, Anna is setting herself for failure because:
– she takes many changes at the same time;
– her environment is very much linked to her current lifestyle;
– she is alone in her journey and is not holdingherself accountable.
How can she successfully change her habits?
1. Start small to aim big
Human beings are easily stressed and will naturally resist to any change. What happens if several new things arrive at the same time? They crack up because the brain actually does not know how to process the new information: the safest way for it is to go back to what it already knows. Even if the eagerness to change is sincere, it is important to facilitate the introduction of new habits by starting small. Thus we reduce the cracked-up effect, we spare our willpower resources, we start seeing progress and we build momentum that strengthens our motivation and our confidence in our success.
A friend of mine stopped smoking by smoking one cigarette less every 3 days until after 15 months she has not smoked a single cigarette. Anna could for example start by reducing the amount of cigarettes she smokes, or she could walk for 5 minutes every day.
2. Hack your Willpower: Environment designing
Willpower is like a tank: if it is full we are energised and positive, we feel like we could accomplish anything. As the tank empties, willpower decreases until it the tank is drained. We exhaust willpower by starting big.
What can we do to fill the tank and spare its use? Design a supportive environment: I believe that the environment influences our actions. If you want to stop smoking, you could remove the ashtrays from the house; if you always buy snacks from the vending machine you can make sure you do not have coins in your wallet. Set reminders to remember that you are changing.
The idea is to create systems that will remind you this new habit you are developing until it is embedded. As a result of this, your environment will be more in keeping with what you want to achieve.
3. Better together: accountability
About two months ago, a series of Facebook events called “30 days to …” flourished. Whether they targeted flat bellies or bikini wearing, thousands of people signed up for them. Interesting thoughts arose:
– people want to change
– people want to change together
Accountability is a very important factor in any habit change process. Some weight-loss programmes use accountability to increase the success of the participants. Every week they are weighed in front of the others and are congratulated if they have lost weight. Who wants to be publicly buuhed? Because of mutual inspiration, competition or fear for being the last one, people tend to stick to what they publicly commit to.
Who do you want to be?
Going from 20 cigarettes a day to 0 is a daunting yet terrifying change for whoever who has been on this regime for 20 years. Changes are better supported if we also change our mindset towards the new habit.
Compare : “ I am non-smoker” with “I am a former smoker” or “I will always be a former smoker”. Where the mind goes the tongue follows and reciprocally.
Why not purposely change the speech and mentally design this new identity that matches the new habits?
The challenge!
Join me in installing a new habit or quitting a non-desired one for 30 days! Remember to follow those steps :
- start small : remember kids learn to walk one foot after the other;
- change your environment: as willpower’s tank empties easily, let’s not use it too much by creating an environment that will be supportive of our desired behaviour;
- keep yourself accountable: sign up in online groups, compete with friends, tell the world about what you are up to and stick to it;
- design a new identity : what will your life be like once you have successfully changed? Experience it now!
I decide to stop eating sugar for 30 days, starting 30th of July? What about you? Have you ever successfully changed an habit?
Photo credits: PiVer
