Is it possible to be in control of your own reality by switching the perception and the attitude towards the world?
One of my favorite stories from childhood was The ugly duckling – I considered myself unworthy; I was shy and scared; I could not understand why I am here. But I also had the thirst for knowledge and the willingness to dream. Yes, I loved the idea of becoming one day a Swan, actually I was certain that a duckling is going to turn into something beautiful. You need just to find your place, and to believe in yourself.
On this path of self-discovery (I feel I am very close to the Swan phaseJnow), I have found an amazing technique which I practice as much as I can – mirroring – “the behavior in which one person copies another person usually while in social interaction with them” (Wikipedia). This is a very common and useful technique in modern psychology which is being applied both in our personal and professional lives. Though what I find even more astonishing is the reverse mirroring – the deliberate change of the reflection we see or would like to see. Each time we see an image in the mirror which is not harmoniously synchronizing with our true being, it is in our power to make a change.
- The first time I became conscious about this amazing feature was after my 28th anniversary. I felt a very deep feeling of getting older as I realized I was approaching my 30sJ I “really” was seeing lots of wrinkles and other aging signs during a couple of months, until I have decided to feel good, by accepting my age and by feeling young Again. Shortly after this change of attitude, my mirror began to reflect a beautiful, young (now most of people cannot believe I am over 30) woman ….without no external physical interventions.
- Recently I started to apply mirroring in relationships, mostly with my family members. One time, when I began to work after my maternal leave, I was pretty sensible regarding kindergarten conditions and people which took over my children during daytime. I was particularly mad about one caretaker who never smiled when she was taking my children in the morning. My first reaction was to speak with the management, and then I decided to experiment my mirroring technique. The feedback was instant, and she began to smile. I have discovered she was a very careful and nice to me and most important with the children. I realized that she was just automatically mirroring my fear and sadness when I was leaving my children, and after I changed my perspective, the “reality” changed too.
- Another useful side of the mirroring is that you can learn about yourself things which usually are revealed by the subconscious in our dreams – about the habits, cultural or family influences. Sometimes it is difficult to identify why we do some things and make some strange decisions. But if we analyze the people around us and the way they behave, speak or react, we could acknowledge very interesting information about ourselves. In Romania, we have a saying “Tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are”.
- Now it makes much more sense to me and it is a powerful tool when it comes to children education. Every time I see some undesired behavior, I stop for a moment and turn over to me to see if it comes from my side. And most of the time, I notice that it is me or their father who created this behavior (they are too small and most of the time they are in our company, therefore it is easy to identify the root cause – parental influence). They certainly are my greatest inspiration, because they are so pure, so genuine and perfect when they come to this wonderful world, and then they start to learn and copy all that comes from the exterior – family, society, culture etc. That’s why I consider it essential to continually improve myself and to make a difference.
What I have realized is a noticeable improvement in my relations with others and with myself, a growth of self-confidence, more joy and desire to create.
Smile and your “mirror” will show you a SMILE.
I remember us kids in the winter night dreaming under the stars! And I was sure everything will become true as I always believed in all you were saying!!!