“She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other.” Robin Williams
When it comes to the world of dating we all step in with a lot of expectations, wishes and needs. Some are related to our experiences, good or bad, but there are several unrealistic expectations I simply want to share them with you because, after a while, they can make our dating life quite hard and we can build up a lot of frustration that prevents us from moving forward and be happy.
Why? Unrealistic expectations are based on our feelings and not on facts. Recognising and talking about them will help us have a more clear idea about what we want and don’t want when dating.
Unrealistic expectations bring also drama and misunderstandings that can be avoided if we try to understand them and openly think about them.
1.Expecting that “One Date” is enough to measure the other person’s interest
Some people stop on one date without giving a real chance to the other person to show who he / she is and to look for real compatibility. Learn more, open more, share more! And not only superficial things, but important moments, stories, vulnerable moments.
You cannot expect to be able to know everything about a person in just one single date !
2.Expecting a lot from the other person, but not giving anything or very little in return
It is something that repeats quite often when someone expects that the other person should be perfect, with an exciting life, a super job and great friends to be introduced to.
Relationships are about a balanced giving and taking and this is a selfish way to handle one. At the end of the day the one who gives too much will get tired and eventually move on to someone who will appreciate them and who will respond to them as well.
3.Expecting The One
This expectation is a very tricky one: it puts a lot of pressure on the person and also on the dating partners. It’s very difficult to compete with a person that doesn’t exist in reality.
Let’s face it, no one is perfect and has only qualities. We are a mix of strong points and weaknesses and this is what makes us so attractive to one another.
The idea of The One is very dangerous in the sense that keeps us from meeting real people and finding real love which is clearly better then this Hollywood fantasy.
4.Expecting the other to change in order to accommodate your needs and wants
The first step when we start dating is to realise, accept and set as a foundation keystone that the other person can’t be changed.
We all want to be loved for who we are, not for something we could be in the future.
5.Expecting that the relationship is the only source of happiness
This is wrong because it puts a lot of pressure on you and on the other and keeps you from developing your personal potential and the other’s potential, too. Keeping your friends, having a life, having a career of your own can only bring more respect and can help creating a healthy relationship.
This time I would like to start a conversation beween everyone out there with two simple, but effective questions :
- Do you have any unrealistic expectations related to dating and relationships?
- What’s keeping you from having the relationship you so much desire to have?
If you want to read more, check also :
Is Being Too Picky Ruining Your Love Life?
How Eliminating Unrealistic Expectations Can Make You A Happier Person
4 Completely Unrealistic Expectations in a Relationship That Ruin Love
