In the dating world we all want to win and to have successful relationships, but when we start to look closely, we realise The Game is sometimes hard and we can end up broken hearted.
If everyone would play correctly, trying their best not to hurt the other, dating would be fun and enjoyable.
I will share with you several games people play, not only as a warning signal, but also as a short review of those games I notice they repeat themselves quite often.
But first, what’s a Dating Game?
A dating Game it’s a game people play to test the others or, simply, to play around without any intention of developing a serious relationship.
What we can do about it?
The most important thing you need to know is that no one has the right to impose something you don’t want or you don’t feel ok with.
You have the right to give up a relationship where you don’t feel secure, understood, accepted and happy!
Don’t settle just because you need a relationship, you deserve the best, not some ambiguous dating plans that don’t get you anywhere and don’t make you happy in the long-term.
THE HOT AND COLD GAME
Someone who calls, then acts cold, then calls again, it’s not that into you and, probably, has several dates with several people and can’t make up its mind.
LEAVE THE OTHER PERSON IN THE DARK
When you don’t share your objectives with the significant other, when you keep someone at the distance, not involving them too much in your life it’s because you don’t see them in your life for the long-term. It’s living the moment with no strings attached.
SILENCE TREATMENT
When you do something the other person doesn’t like, he or she shuts down completely. The normal reaction we have is to insist more which only gives them satisfaction and makes them feel important. If you enter into this game, you will enter a vicious circle that will repeat until one of you will get bored or find someone else to play with.
HARD TO GET
This one is well documented by a lot of dating specialists and magazines for women.
In order to get a guy, you would have to play hard to get, but in real life that didn’t get me very far: I accumulated several dates, but being considered too arrogant and not really being present, these dates didn’t allow me to fall in love or develop a deep connection with someone.
This is another Hollywood myth that will only bring you frustration instead of having a great loving relationship.
AMBIGUITY
Be aware of those people (men and women alike) that go out with you, make you feel special, but who don’t declare what they are feeling. Ambiguity is a game that can fool even those who have experience in dating, especially when you start having feelings for these ambiguous people. When you start to have feelings, you lose contact with reality and start day dreaming of someone who shows you only what they want you to see. These people are easy to spot: they will always stay in the surface, not really wanting to know you as you are and they lose their interest quite fast.
All these mind games are very unhealthy and can destroy one’s confidence. Learning to recognise them will help us all not lose our precious time on toxic people and relationships!
Everything is absolutely true you have mentioned in your blog. I like the way you described it as. Yes it is very true everyone deserves best. Because of that the decision of making relationship with someone should be taken very carefully. Great article! Thanks.
Thank you, Gael, for your feedback. It’s always nice to read reactions, comments, new fresh opinions.
I think we, women and men, we need to understand that mind games are very toxic and they don’t bring anything good.
We have to stay away from situations and people that harm us and take care of ourselves.