Teenage years…
What is it about the teenage years? There is something special if not critical in this period of a person’s life. As the second most formative stage for human beings, the impact of the influences and the result of the decisions made during this time can fuel or limit the development of the individual incredibly. While the transition through our infant years may have a greater impact, the key difference with teenage years, is that to some degree the individual themselves have a say in the process and ultimately have some choices to make. For this reason I am always keen to contribute to the empowerment of youths in any way that I can.
So recently I was invited to Townshend International School in the Czech Republic to talk about the power of social media and how to be purposeful with it. If you don’t know, Townshend International School has educated students from 99 countries and is inspired by Bahá’í principles:
• The oneness of mankind.
• Independent investigation of truth.
• The common foundation of all religions.
• The essential harmony of science and religion.
• Equality of men and women.
• Elimination of prejudice of all kinds.
• Universal compulsory education.
• A spiritual solution to the economic problem.
• A universal auxiliary language.
• Working for World Peace
The school has Bahá’í and non-Bahá’í students and is very much focused on character building, excellent academics and building a community focused culture. So naturally I was delighted to go and spend a week in this fabulous school.
Real Life Transformation…
So I intended to give a demonstration of a social media app with a social mission, that I am developing and to talk about finding a balance for the use of social media, so that it did not become a meaningless distraction in the students’ lives. The funny thing is though, this is not your average school, Townshend is a special place. Pretty soon we were taking a deep dive into what drives us to distraction and how to move beyond it. In the middle of the week we did a session called ‘is this real life?’ Which focused on what really mattered in life and how the pursuit of trivial fantasies can take over our lives and waste our time, here if we don’t make clear choices. So using the visual below and that fabulous metaphor from Khalil Gibran, we explored the dynamics of transformation.
Presentation slide on breaking through the shell of fear around our comfort zone.
This picture may look cute, but it has a serious message for us all. First of all there is something that we all crave beyond even happiness, that is the feeling of being alive, truly alive. There are many theories and models on what makes us feel fulfilled, but the essential thing to remember is that we will do whatever it takes to feel it.
Now here is the caveat: we can feel alive with some short-term gratification that gives us a buzz, but soon wears off leaving us feeling empty and unfulfilled, as it evaporates back into the meaninglessness that it always was. In the contexts of the session, we were talking about distractions such as video games, social media etc., but these thrills turn up in many forms, as we all know well (e.g. a new dress, car, drink, or even drugs).
I use this visual of the egg shell as a metaphor for our comfort zone, surrounded by a shell of fear beyond which we do not feel so safe. Because we crave to feel alive, but dare not venture out into the great unknown, so we subconsciously look for short-term sensations that make us feel alive. If only we could break through the self-imposed limiting beliefs, which to some degree are there for our own protection. Often our fears are mis-founded so they are something that we have to move beyond if we want to experience life fully.
So if a true sense of aliveness lies beyond our comfort zone, or as one person put it we need to expand our comfort zone, what does it take to get there?
We also explored briefly how easy it is to slip into a pattern of learned helplessness, by moping around as though you have no choices in life, with self pitying thoughts, words and body language, etc. but we know that is not going to serve us.
The first thing that we have to do is to get clear and make some new decisions:
- Decide not to settle for a life of distraction, suffocating in your ‘shell’
- Think about what it will cost you if you stay distracting yourself
with short term pleasures - Think about the life you could have if you took the steps
to push beyond your fears - Think about your most cherished dream that is outside
your comfort zone and visualise it as though it was real. - Ask yourself what you have believed up to now, that
is holding you back, and what is rubbish about that? - How is the fear protecting you and how can you ensure
that you will be able to deal with any downside. - Figure out the first step to start making a change, keep taking
action and keep your eye on the prize.
There was too much good stuff in my Townshend week to fit in this post and we still have even more to do.
So, at the end of the week, I was in the airport coffee shop, reading messages that the pupils had written for me, with tears in my eyes. It is lovely to go where people are so nice that your heart gets opened up so much that you feel it glow.
I am going back soon. Maybe you know a student who wants to be an international student.
If you do, Check out Townshend International School: http://townshend.cz/
